A Touch of OCD

The title is a joke. Sort of. One of the things I love about Matt is that he and I are similar in some key ways. One of which is that we have a tiny, tiny bit of OCD. Now, my OCD isn't the good kind - like the kind that makes me keep my house spotless, or enables me to complete a term paper 3 days after the assignment is handed out. Oh no, I have the kind that hinges more on the "O" in OCD. Obsessive. I become fixated on the most random of things, and then can't stop thinking about them. This mostly comes out when I find music I like. If I find a song I like, I will listen to it on 'repeat' for hours, which then turn into days. I sleep and eat and stuff - it doesn't completely disrupt my life - but I do tend to fixate. Every once in a while I also obsess over questions or things, not resting until I find the answer or discover what I am looking for. I am currently looking for ice cream/ soup takeout containers. They have to be pint sized, white with white lid, made of thick paper with a waxy coating on the inside, and available to purchase in quantities of less than 50. I can find what I want until we get to the quantity issue. What would I do with 250 pint containers?? I've done a fairly thorough internet search. I looked on ebay. There's no Smart & Final here, so that's out. I will probably have to start calling restaurants to see if they have what I want, and if so, if they will sell it to me. Fortunately, I don't really need these for a few more months. Wish me luck.

Sleep update: Things have been thrown off a little since swim lessons began this week. He seems to want to take a little nap between 6:30 and 7:00, but then it's harder to get him to bed. We do have a new bedtime routine: cluster feed him as much as possible between making dinner by 4:30, eating, and leaving for swim lessons at 6:00. Home at 7:00, Malaina in shower, try to feed Justin again, Justin in bath. PJ's on everyone, try to juggle stories with Malaina and keep Justin calm, tuck in Malaina, soothe Justin, Justin in crib. The good news: NO MORE PACIFIER. We are 6 days sans-paci, and things are much better. Everyone comments that it's so early for him to not be using it anymore, but I just couldn't continue to get up a dozen times a night to stick it back in his mouth. He's sleeping in his crib all the time now, and is going to sleep much more easily. He did have to cry it out a few times at the beginning, but now he'll fuss for a few minutes, then settle down quickly. He does still wake to eat several times each night, but I don't really have a way to circumvent that except to hope that he will grow out of it. And besides, I am so grateful for these positive changes that I can't ask for much more right now.

I wish someone would hold a how-to class on the DIY French Manicure. I realize this would be rather self-defeating to a manicurist. Why teach someone to DIY, when we could continue to pay $25+ to have them do it for us? I rarely paint my nails, but I do like to keep my toes painted. I treat myself to a pedicure maybe once a year, but I love the little designs some manicurists will do as part of the pedi. I like the look of French tips on the toes, but seem to botch it every time. I'm sure it's just a matter of practice, but I would pay good money to have someone teach me how to do it right - show the supplies & explain why they work so well, go through it step by step, and let me practice under supervision. YouTube has some videos on this, but seeing it in poor quality digital video doesn't compare to having someone walk you through it in person. I found this Flickr user in Japan who gets the most amazing looking manicures. Apparently she frequents some of the top nail salons in Tokyo, and she comes away with Pucci-inspired designs with Swarovski crystals, glittery French manicures and more. That's a bit much for me, as I both have no real nails to speak of and wash my hands 15 times a day. But I love a gorgeous pedicure, and if I had the money I'd get one twice a month. One of the only good things about living in Lafayette was the Aveda Beauty School there. While I was pregnant with Malaina, I DID get a pedicure every 2 weeks - because they were $10!! (oh the bygone days of free time and disposable income) Sorry- this turned into a rambler......

Shallow Moment.....

Forgive me for having a shallow, celeb-obsessed moment, but here I go:

I've heard Madonna is divorcing her husband. Not really noteworthy, as divorce happens every day. Here's the interesting part: rumours abound that there is NO PRENUP. Uh.... really? I used to think pre-nups were lame, but I've reversed my opinion in the last few years. Of course we are broke, so there was never any talk of a pre-nup before we got married. But as a celebrity, particularly one of Madonna's magnitude, I would think a Pre-Nup is just a no brainer. I'm sure she had the same idea we all have when we move towards the altar: "We're so in love. I can't ever imagine being apart from him. I don't need a pre-nup because we will always be together." That's all well and good, but people grow, people change, and often they grow apart. And personally if I was making millions of dollars a year, I would want to keep it. If they stay married, then no harm, no foul. But if they divorce, apparently he may be entitled to half of what she made during the course of their marriage (England is different than the U.S., where it's often half of all current assets). Considering that she grossed between $194 and $260 million for her 2006 tour (and this is just a small portion of the money made since her 2000 marriage), we are talking about a ton of cash. I realize it's only money, and she probably wouldn't even miss that 50%, but...... all I can really say is listen to what your lawyers tell you BEFORE you sign on the dotted line of that marriage license. You pay them big bucks for a reason.

Sleep Update

If nothing else, this week has proven to me once again that parenting requires an arsenal of varying skill-sets and a great deal of flexibility. Check your ego at the door and get ready to ride the emotional rollercoaster, prepare yourself for surprises that could rival those in a funhouse, and of course you better have the flexibility of a Chinese acrobat because there are times when you will bend over backwards and touch your toes to your nose for your babies.


We have been pacifier free for 5 days now. It's been rough going, but not as difficult as I thought it might be. Naps aren't as challenging as getting him to sleep at night. The first night he cried for 45 minutes, and now we're down to about 15 minutes of sobbing. It's still difficult for me to listen to him wail but I think it helps him to get it out of his system, and he certainly sleeps better. Last night was probably one of our best nights. He went to bed at 8:00, and I sleep-fed him at 10:30. I went to bed right after and we slept until about 2:00. 2:00 seems to be the most difficult hour of the night, as he seems to eat, fall asleep for about 20 minutes, then wakes up and cries for 10-30 minutes. Once he's back down again, he'll usually sleep until 4am, when he wants to eat again. It's back up for good around 6 am. We mixed it up last night, as I brought him to bed at 4. I know, it was a moment of weakness which I definitely regret. I thought he might settle down, but he just wanted to eat off and on until we got up at 8. I know - 8 is very late, but in my defense, although I have been getting more sleep it's almost worse as I get into a deep sleep cycle and then get woken out of it - leaving me to sleep walk through my mornings like when he was a newborn. I keep telling myself that this will pass, but in the meantime I could really use a nap.


In other news:

• Swim lessons started today. They are only 1/2 hour for 10 days, but I'm hopeful she'll come out with some water skills that Daddy can then expand on.
• I've completed 2 weeks of Baby Boot Camp, and am still enjoying it. I still get sore the day after a class, but this is good as it means I'm continuing to work different muscles. We do a lot of squats and lunges, and I've seen improvement in my ability to complete multiple sets without having my legs want to buckle underneath me. I can see better definition in my calves, more muscle in my shoulders, and my shorts are feeling a little looser. My healthy eating is going OK, too. Some days are stricter than others, but overall I just try to stay away from the pasta and bread (two very big weak spots for me), and eat a lot more salad. In fact, I feel like I've eaten a Farmer's Market worth of salad, but it's all good. I've eaten ice cream and chocolate a few times, but I'm trying not to stress about it. What's the point to working towards a healthier lifestyle if I'm just going to beat myself up over a little treat now and then? So not worth it.
• I made homemade chocolate ice cream last night, and it was SO GOOD. We haven't had great luck with our ice cream in the past, as it seems to come out grainy, with an unpleasant mouth-feel and uneven texture. I thought it might be from our cheap-o ice cream maker, but this result was completely different. I found the recipe at All Recipes and decided to try it after reading the positive reviews. It was time consuming, but worth it. I think it could easily be switched up to form a vanilla base with raspberries, or make a mint ice cream with some chopped up dark chocolate (my favorite!). Here's the recipe:

  Very Chocolate Ice Cream

  INGREDIENTS
  · 3/4 cup sugar
  · 1 cup milk
  · 1/4 teaspoon salt
  · 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
  · 3 egg yolk, lightly beaten
  · 2 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped
  · 2 cups heavy cream
  · 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  

  DIRECTIONS
  1. Combine sugar, milk, salt, and cocoa powder in a saucepan over medium heat, stirring constantly. Bring to a simmer. Place the egg yolks into a small bowl. Gradually stir in about 1/2 cup of the hot liquid and return to the saucepan. Heat until thickened, but do not boil. Remove from the heat, and stir in the chopped chocolate until chocolate is melted. Pour into a chilled bowl, and refrigerate for about two hours until cold, stirring occasionally.
  2. When chocolate mixture has completely cooled, stir in the cream, and vanilla. Pour into an ice cream maker, and freeze according to manufacturer's directions.

  
  

Baby sleep (or lack thereof)

Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh. (that's a 'yeah', not a 'yee-haw') So much for my smugness on sleep training. It's not going so well. For the past three nights I've gotten a total of about 6.75 hours of sleep. Naps aren't too bad, but night time has been nightmare-ish. We've got a good bedtime routine going, but once again, after 30 minutes or so he's awake and difficult to comfort. Wednesday and Thursday night I was up at least 15 times each night, comforting, patting, and putting the paci back in. I think this is at the core of our problem: the paci. So I decided to mix it up last night. He didn't nap well during the day, and was very tired by bedtime. I fed him at 4:30, 6:30 and 8:30, then tried to put him down without the paci. He babbled in his crib for a while, then the fussing began. I knew he wanted his pacifier, but stayed strong. I patted him in the crib, and stroked his head. The crying began in earnest. It was that cry that tugs at your heart, where I knew he was asking "Where's my pacifier and why can't I have it? Why? WHY?!?!?!?" I held him and rocked him, talking to him and stroking his head. After about 30 minutes he quieted down and drifted off to sleep. He was pretty quiet (exhausted from the crying) and I went to bed at 10:30. I then got up at 12:30, 2:30, 4:15 and up for good at 6:30am. I know that sounds horrible, but I consider it a good night, as he never really fussed that much - I knew he wanted the paci, but I let him eat instead. I don't want to encourage nursing all night, but what's worse? Getting up 15 times a night to pop in a pacifier? Or getting at least 2-3 hours of sleep with feeding in between? I vote for the 2-3 hours. I'm hoping that once I get the OK from the doc to give him solids, he'll start sleeping longer and more deeply. We'll see how things go tonight and for the next few nights.



In other news: We went to a neighborhood children's parade for 4th of July. After that, we had a quiet day at home, with an all-American meal for dinner: cheeseburgers, potato salad, corn on the cob & apple crisp for dessert. We let Malaina stay up late to watch fireworks (we actually had a decent view from the porch) and then I took her for a walk to see the fireflies. She kept asking if Tinkerbelle was there. It was really special to see her wide-eyed response to telling her the fairies were out. I spun a little story about the fairies and why they were out (saying hello to each other), what they were doing (looking for something to eat), and why you can only see them in the summer (they hibernate like bears in the winter).

Big Sis and Little Bro.

The start of the 4th of July neighborhood parade.

Good buddies, enjoying a 4th of July treat.

Malaina on her bike, all decorated for the 4th. This was shortly before she had her first crash landing. She collided with a boy on a bike, ending with a scraped knee and and scratched up face. She was a trooper, and one Strawberry Shortcake bandaid later, she was feeling better.

Magic

Matt urged me to go for a quick walk the other night - at 10:30pm. We'd been talking about the fireflies, and he swore that he always saw a million of them when he runs at night (First time he saw them he thought he might be having a stroke. That's what you get when you grow up firefly-free). So I did. I stomped across the rugby field and made it to the connector which leads to the Jordan Creek trail. And there they were. I felt transported back to when I was about 6 years old, and still believed there might be fairies in the world. They were everywhere, winking on and off like tiny little nightlights. I stood there with my mouth open, watching them float lazily in the cooling summer breeze, feeling surrounded by magic. Malaina will soon be going on a late night walk with me so she can glimpse into the fairy tale world of fireflies. Is it irresponsible of me tell her they are fairies?

Look closely next to the big door. Yep, that's a fairy door. Who says fairies aren't real?

Random Day

Justin slept in his crib all night for the first time. OK, of course he woke up repeatedly, but I stayed strong & didn't bring him into bed at all. I'm really proud of how well we're all doing with sleep training, especially Justin. He's been going to bed at 8:30, and he does wake several times, but it really is progress for him to stay in his crib for the entire night. I am hopeful that within a few more days (3-5) he'll be sleeping longer & more deeply. I think I've found the trick to naps, too. He does the same thing he does at night - sleeps for 30 minutes, then wakes up. If I pop the paci back in & soothe him for a few minutes, he drifts back to sleep. Ah, the life of a baby.

I bought an Exersaucer off craigslist today. I've been looking for one, but think they are outrageously expensive. I found it this morning, checked the price & features on Amazon, emailed, and BAM, 9 hours later it was mine. I wanted one that had more than 3 things to do, but didn't want to pay $80+ dollars. It is currently outside, airing out after being scrubbed with Clorox wipes & doused with Lysol. All I have to do is wash the seat & we're good to go. He loves the Jumper so I hope he'll love this too. I heart craigslist.

I had to go over to the South-east side of town to pick up the Exersaucer, and passed by the Southridge mall. Since I was in the area, I decided to check it out. I wish I could say it was Fabulous. Or even Ghetto Fabulous. But it was just Ghetto. I always feel a little sad when I see a dying mall, as it just means bad news all around. At least half the spaces were vacant, and the other half were mostly sister shops, jewelry stores and athletic footwear. The one bright spot was Steve & Barry's. We don't have this particular store where I'm from, but it's been on my radar since I found out Sarah Jessica Parker designs a line of clothing for them called Bitten. WITH NOTHING OVER $10. Srsly. I'm not really at a point where I'm doing a lot of clothes shopping for myself (I get sad over the number on the size tag) but I had to check it out. I actually ended up buying a pair of jeans & a t-shirt. I tried them on when I got home, and they are c-u-t-e. The jeans are a teensy bit snug in the thighs, but I don't think that will be an issue in another few weeks. Jeans are both my favorite thing to wear and my bete noir. To think that I may have found a pair that not only fits well but is super cheap makes me want to buy 5 more pairs. I know you ladies can relate. (they also come in short and long lengths). Raise the roof for a $20 outfit! Note: The rest of the store is a little pop-tarty. They do carry clothes for all ages in the family (including baby & kid), but I'd be wary of the quality. Lots of snarky, pseudo-clever t's, too.

I think we've decided NOT to get a minivan. With gas prices what they are, and my job a big question mark (still have not talked to the boss, despite him being back from vacation for 3 days), it just doesn't feel right. Instead, we're going to invest in a new windshield, new tires, and a deep cleaning. As much as I'd love to have more room, I can't argue with 30mpg in town.

I am hungry. I'm still mostly sticking to healthy eating, but last night I had sweets on the brain. I ended up whipping up this easy brownie recipe (made with hot cocoa mix and chocolate chips). It actually made very yummy brownies. Dangerously yummy. In my mind I'm hoping things balance out. I'm doing really well with no bread and no pasta (I have had flour tortillas 3 times), but living on eggs, salad, chicken and peanut butter makes me want sweets even more. If I stay strong and power through the cravings, will they go away? Or does it really equal out when I eat tuna steak, corn, and watermelon for dinner then spoil it with a brownie? Baby Bootcamp is going really well, and I don't want to spoil my progress (no more soreness, and feel like I am already seeing results in my calves and biceps). We all need a little sweet treat once in a while, don't we?

The No-Sleep Chronicles or How to Get Your Baby to Sleep in His Crib in Only 21 Easy Steps

1. Keep reading The Baby Whisperer. Wonder if you are a bad parent, stupid, or just have a difficult baby. Decide on none of the above. Decide to try some of book's suggestions.
2. 6pm: Feed Baby
3. 7:30pm: Ignore book's suggestion to create a consistent nightly ritual. Too tired to bathe him every night. Dress Baby in PJ's. Worry that Baby will get confused by not having a bath every night. Decide Baby is a Genius, and will know he is not dirty enough to need bath every night. Pat self on back for having Genius Baby.
4. 7:35pm: Let Baby play in Jumper.
5. 7:45pm: Feed Baby again.
5. 8:00pm: Note that Baby is tired. Take Baby into bedroom to try and get Baby to sleep. Baby no longer acts tired & end up talking, singing, and tickling Baby for half an hour.
6. 8:30pm: Baby acting tired again. Hold, pat and stroke Baby's head until he is dozy. Place Baby in crib with paci in mouth. Pat self on back for putting Baby to bed so easily. Wonder how long it will last.
7. 9:00pm: Hear Baby cry. Go to crib, replace paci. Sneak out.
8. 9:05pm: Hear Baby cry. Go to crib, replace paci, stroke Baby's head to soothe. Sneak out.
9. 9:15pm: Hear Baby cry. Replace paci, stroke head, pat chest, tuck in blanket. Sneak out.
10. 9:23pm: Hear Baby cry. Replace paci, sneak out.
11. 10:45pm: Baby is quiet. Wonder if Baby is still breathing. Sneak into room, check Baby. All OK.
12. 10:50pm: Argue with Husband about how to sleep train Baby. Decide to no longer feed Baby in bed. Feel sad, but want to sleep so desperately am ready to wear noise-cancelling headphones to bed.
13. 11:30pm: End argument with Husband. Baby wakes up. Bring Baby to sofa to feed in the dark, in hopes that he will sleep for at least 5 more hours.
14. 12:00am: Place Baby in crib. Parents in bed.
15. 1:30am: Husband wakes & sits up in bed, listening for Baby breathing. Hear nothing. Panic and leap out of bed to crib. Place hand on Baby. Baby is breathing, and is now pissed I woke him up. Paci in mouth, pat, stroke head, soothe Baby back to sleep. Breathe sigh of relief.
16. 2:30am: Hear Baby wake and fuss. Poke husband to get up and soothe him. Poke husband again. Poke husband again. Husband pokes back. Get up and soothe Baby.
17. 3:00am: Hear Baby wake & fuss. Start to get out of bed to soothe him. Husband tries to pull me back. Want to punch Husband in face; soothe Baby instead.
18. 4:00am: Baby wakes & is hungry. Take Baby to sofa to eat. Baby falls asleep after 10 minutes. Take Baby back to crib. Baby wakes up, gets mad. Bring Baby to bed.
19. 5:45am: Baby wakes & is hungry again. Wonder if Baby is part Giant. Wonder what grocery bill will be when Baby is 14. Am glad husband will be doctor, as am sure we will need to invest in our own Costco franchise in order to keep Baby's tummy full. Bring Baby to sofa to eat.
20. 6:00am: Place Baby back in crib. Baby coos and gurgles to himself. Think Baby is most adorable, handsome Baby in town. But still wish Baby would sleep more than 3 hours in a row so nervous breakdown doesn't occur.
21. 6:30am: Put Baby in jumper. Baby falls asleep with toy in mouth after 10 minutes. Cute Baby! Sleepy Baby! Tired Mommy!