Ms. Amy's Guide to eBay

It's no secret that I enjoy eBay. A member since 2000, I have bought and sold a variety of items, and never cease to be amazed at what you can find on eBay. While I am by no means an expert, I have learned a few things along the way. Take this for what it is - the experience of a novice eBayer. If you have things to add, I'd love to hear your advice/ perspective.

Buying

1. Start Slow: It's easy to get overwhelmed by everything available. I can spend hours searching for all manner of random items - from children's clothing to antique jewelry to craft items to vintage books, etc. If you want it, it's likely that you CAN find it on eBay - for a variety of prices. And if you don't see it, keep checking back.
2. Do Your Research: Start reading listings, and note the following: quality of pictures, thoroughness of description, starting price, seller feedback, shipping costs. I am leery of listings which have fuzzy pictures, a lack of description, spelling errors, high starting price, less than 98% positive feedback, and exorbitant shipping costs. I often go with my gut instinct as to whether the seller is sincere in the listing. If you are looking for something "designer" - especially handbags - there are SO MANY fakes out there. Look long & hard before you bid. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Ex: We bought some PlayMobil toys which were a huge disappointment. We knew they were in used condition, but didn't expect them to be broken & dirty. The description was very vague, and the pictures were angled to hide some of the broken pieces. Lesson Learned: Just because I would not sell a broken, filthy item doesn't mean that others have any second thoughts about trying it.
3. Impulse Control: DO NOT BID on the first things you see! I can't stress this enough. It's easy to get into a trap of "look at how cheap this is!". You may end up purchasing 6 of the same item - and who wants that? Or you may end up purchasing the wrong size of something because you didn't read the description carefully.
4. Q & A: Not enough information in the description? Ask a question! Most sellers are prompt and responsive to your questions.
5. Patience: Can't find what you want? Item selling for more than you want to pay? Check back in a few days. Because eBay is always live, you have an increased likelihood of finding what you want..... eventually.
6. Bidding Wars: I can't tell you how often I have bid on an item, thinking I have it locked up - and I get swooped in the last 5 minutes of an auction. I believe that some sellers are dishonest enough to have shill bidders to drive up the price. But I also believe that there are buyers out there who get a thrill out of trying to swoop an item at the last minute. It is SO EASY to get into the mindset of "Oh no they don't!" - and that's fine as long as you are prepared to pay the price. But most of the time, it's best to set an absolute maximum and stick to it.
7. Know What You're Dealing With: As cool as eBay is, it is still an online garage sale. There are people who will misrepresent their items, who won't ship on time, who won't ship at all, who take 2 weeks to ship. Don't let a bad experience taint your overall feelings about the site. It can be lots of fun - when you go in with eyes wide open. And PS - sellers deserve a little leeway, too.
8. Paying: Open a Paypal account. It's the gold standard of eBay payment methods, and doesn't cost you anything. I've never had a problem with them.
9. Shipping: Shipping costs are not cheap, but that is no reason to pay too much. I get really upset when someone tries to charge $12.00 to ship a DVD (it shouldn't be more than $4.00 - MAX). Be willing to accept a reasonable shipping charge, and know that it can take a week+ to get to you. Patience!
10. No Takesies-Backsies: eBay is the perfect example of Caveat Emptor. Bottom line is that what you get is what you get. Most sellers have a no returns policy, with few exceptions. A bid is a binding contract, and you need to be an adult about that. You can't cancel a bid or try to return an item because you changed your mind.

Selling

1. Be Thorough: I take pains to ensure that my pictures are clear, my descriptions are complete, and my terms are fair. eBay is not my "business", but I think presenting oneself in a professional way indicates that you value the business model, the customer, and the item you are presenting for consideration.
2. Be Reasonable: Don't set a starting price that is too high - you'll scare off bidders. On the flip side, don't set a starting price that is so low that you'll be irritated when your item sells for the minimum. Also, be fair in shipping costs. You have to bear the cost of supplies & time to ship, but this is not the place to try and rip off your buyers. Offer to combine shipping!
3. Terms: You have to spell things out. If you won't ship internationally, say so. If you expect payment in 24 hours or you will cancel the listing, say so. If you don't spell it out, it's unfair to make demands after the end of auction.
4. eBay Backs The Buyer: It is unfortunate, but eBay's bottom line is that it supports the buyers, not the sellers. Only buyers can leave negative feedback. If a buyer reports a problem, eBay's stance is that a seller is guilty until they prove themselves innocent. For the most part, this is not a problem. But there are buyers who will threaten you with negative feedback, open baseless cases against you (suspending your Paypal account) & otherwise whine & complain in an effort to get their way. Don't let the bad apples get to you - and don't take it personally. {I am still working on this one}
5. Nutbar Alert: Most buyers are great. They ask clear questions, pay promptly, and leave positive feedback. But there are others who will email you a dozen times because they think they should have paid less in shipping, been provided a tracking number or delivery confirmation for free, and had their package sent for overnight delivery because they felt entitled to those things. As with any customer service experience, you have to be objective and just let it roll off your back.
6. Communication: I think this is so important. If something has changed, let the buyer know. Be sure to thank them for prompt payment, or let them know that you're still waiting for payment. If you can't ship in the time stated, tell them & then let them know exactly when you will ship the item. Poor communication leads to negative feedback!
7. Feedback: Sellers live & die on the feedback system, but it seems to be increasingly rare for buyers to leave feedback. If a transaction is smooth & within terms, there's no reason to not leave positive feedback. Even just a "thank you".
8. Listing Times: I have found the optimal time to list is Sunday evening. I also prefer to list for 7 days, which allows for maximum exposure of the item. Try not to list too close to a holiday (not enough time to ship your item), or over a long weekend (many people go out of town).
9. Fees: eBay is not free. There is a cost to list an item, a cost for extra pictures, a cost to re-list if it doesn't sell, shipping costs, supply costs, Paypal fees.... it can feel like you're being nickel & dimed to death. Be willing to accept the fees & time needed to create and complete a successful auction listing. If you don't want to put in the time & investment, you should probably just take your stuff to Goodwill & be done with it.
10. Let It Go: eBay is a fickle mistress. Your item didn't sell? Maybe it was the wrong season or month. Maybe it was tax time. Maybe it was a holiday weekend. Maybe it was priced too high. I recommend trying again, and if you're still not successful, it's time to rethink your strategy & desired outcome.

eBay really can be a lot of work, but I enjoy it. I buy because I like to shop from the comfort of my own couch & because I love a bargain. I like to sell because it's a great way to make a little extra money (hello Christmas presents!), and it can be a big rush to watch a bidding war in the last 10 minutes of your auction. It's not for everyone, but I give it two thumbs up.

A List of 10: Surviving Winter

Surviving Winter can be tough stuff. Short days, long nights, and bitter cold all conspire to make us wish Winter passed by as quickly as summer seemed to. Here are a few things that make the season a little more bearable for my family and I.

1. Lined Jeans: Take your pick from fleece, flannel or jersey, but lined jeans are the way to go. Whether inside a chilly house or running errands in the frosty cold, lined jeans keep my kiddos toasty warm.

2. Mitten Clips: I grew up in SoCal, so I am lacking in knowledge within the realm of winter accessories. Luckily my friendly neighborhood Wal*mart is there to show me the way. Mitten clips have maintained the integrity of many a pair of finger warmers, and for just $1.00/ pair, these babies are a MUST for the under 10 set.

3. Neutrogena Norwegian Hand Cream: I hate the dry, tight feeling my hands get when exposed to the chill of winter, and it's made even worse by the dreaded doing of the dishes. Norwegian Hand Cream to the rescue! It's thick but not greasy, absorbs quickly, and lasts a long, long time. Also works to soothe chapped cheeks and flaky lips, too! Trust me, your hands (and cuticles!) will thank me.

4. Cashmere Socks: I know, a luxury in the true sense of the word, but they are crazy cozy. If you can hold off until after Christmas, deals will abound.

5. Hot Chocolate: Whether homemade or purchased, sipped from a delicate porcelain cup or chugged from a mug, whipped with water or frothed with soy, left bare naked or crowned with cream and chocolate shavings, every winter we consume our weight in hot chocolate. Is any snowy day really complete without imbibing a little hot, chocolaty goodness?

6. Slippers: While my favorites are equipped with a rugged sole and a snuggly sheepskin lining, almost any type of slipper will do. If your home is blessed with hardwoods, you are doubly in need. We tend to keep the home fires burning a little low in the winter, and so slippers are triply necessary. Warm toes = happy heart.

7. Olay Regenerist Micro-Sculpting Cream: Winter's freezing temps coupled with the wind whipped prairies of Iowa and the breeze blown shores of Lake St. Clair have given me a new-found respect for an emollient face cream. My skin tends to be a tiny bit oily, but Jack Frost's touch leaves my pores dry and taut. This cream is rich yet absorbs quickly, and does not make me break out. Thanks to Costco's low, low prices, you won't have to ransom your children to afford it.

8. Sheepskin Car Seat Covers: When you're already chilled to the bone, the last thing you want to do is plop yourself into an icy vinyl seat while you cup your hands over the heating vents and count the days until spring. Until we can afford a car equipped with bum warmers, our sheepskin seat covers have us (at least our bums) covered.

9. Down Comforters: I cannot tell a lie.... I don't know how I would survive from October-June without a down comforter on my bed. Although we have a lovely collection of quilts, they are mostly brought out to build forts or snuggle on movie night. Down is fluffy, down is light, and down is WARM. Turn down the heat and snuggle up with your sweetie. You might never want to leave your bed again.

10. Exercise: While I am much too skittish to pull a Sarah Palin and head out for a jog during an Alaskan winter, I do think snow is fun! Have a snow ball fight, break out the shovel, or get down and roll around in it. Even just a few minutes of bracing air and icy temperatures will bring a sparkle to your eye and a little pink to your cheek. Someday I'd love to try snow shoeing and cross country skiing.... but I think I need to break away from the big city first.

The Rule of 3

Many days I struggle with procrastination, lack of motivation, and a decidedly long to-do list.

Cooking, cleaning, nurturing, bathing, listening, laundering, refereeing, exercising, manipulating, playing, and blogging all conspire to sap me of the will to do anything but lie on the couch and feed myself caramel turtles.

This is where the Rule of 3 dominates.

I find that my days go much more smoothly when I begin with a list. I am easily overwhelmed, so my list only ever has 3 things on it. If I check off 10 additional things, all the better. But these 3 are my bare minimum of to-do's. The world won't implode if I don't get them all done, but if I do, I am more likely to x out a couple of additional chores.

I like the Rule of 3 because once I cross off 1 thing, I'm 33 1/3 done. 2 things and I am 66.6% closer to feeling accomplished. And if I nail all 3? It's like getting a gold star.

The key to making the Rule of 3 work is to be reasonable. If your list looks like this, you're setting yourself up to fail:

• Lose 10 lbs.
• Paint house
• Learn Quantum Mechanics

Start like so, and you might feel a little more like SuperGirl:

• Run day 1 of Couch-to-5K program
• Look at PB catalog to get ideas for paint colors in Master Bedroom
• Check registration requirements & class fees for DMACC

Just remember: If you have to eat frog, do it fast, and start with the biggest one. Works every time.

Unsolicited Advice

Little known fact about me: while I do have a half-sister, I consider myself an only child. My sister and I are 9 years apart, never lived in the same house, and think of each other as little more than acquaintances tenuously connected by blood.

I always wanted a sister to be close to. As an only child with a penchant for books that were far above my maturity level, I yearned for a sister to whisper with at night in a shared bedroom - sharing secret dreams for the future. A companion who would neither overshadow me in looks or intellect, but who would only support me in my pursuit of perfectly curled bangs (to go with my late 1980's triangle-head perm). A chum who I could chat with on the phone about boys and jobs and the mundane details of life. A friend who would become the Fabulous Aunt and gift my offspring with frivolities like cupcakes and monster trucks and candy necklaces.


I long ago came to terms with what our relationship is and is not. I do still secretly yearn for a sisterly friend, and find these feelings welling up now that I am surrounded by the young and pregnant of our Ward. I have at least 7 friends/acquaintances who are expecting. I am so excited for them, and can sometimes barely restrain myself from jumping up and down and clapping my hands in delight. I wish health and happiness and easy pregnancies on them all, and wish we were better friends (or sisters) so I could overstep the boundaries of good taste & friendship and give those first-time moms advice on baby goods and living La Vida Mama.

And guess what? It's my blog, and I think this is the perfect spot to do just that. Read on if you wish, or close your window now & avoid an overly lengthy post. Here's my 50 cents on things I wish I had known on my journey to motherhood.

Disclaimer: Part of the fun of pregnancy is figuring out what works for you & what doesn't. This 'advice' (and I use that term loosely) is based on my personal experience, and should not be taken as anything but my own wishful thinking of "I wish I'd had someone tell me this stuff ahead of time".

Medical Stuff

Your OB: First, realize that you'll probably only see your OB for about 20 minutes on the day of delivery. If you have a long labor, they may pop in a few times, but they're not going to hang out with you. 95% of your time in labor will be spent with the nurse or nurses who are assigned to your room. Be nice to them. Make friends. And say thank you. My nurses rocked & made the birth a pleasant experience. Don't be afraid to ask questions and speak up if you're uncomfortable (I need to take my own advice. I could have used a little epidural boost by the time the pushing began).


Pediatrician: I've always had pediatricians for my kids (vs. going to a family practice office). I felt more comfortable taking them to an office that specializes in kids, and am grateful that we've had some pretty great doctors. In Des Moines, I recommend Walnut Creek Pediatrics. We use Dr. Enserro, and she is fantastic. Dr. Wallin is also excellent. They've soothed many an uptight mom and anxious med student dad. They get an A.

Nursery

I loved decorating our nurseries! And I learned lots, too. Like buying the whole crib set is a big fat waste. The first thing your pediatrician will tell you is to be sure there's nothing in the crib with the baby - including a crib bumper. I did use the quilt as a wall hanging, but in the end, I realized I was perfectly happy with a crib skirt and a few sheets. Pottery Barn Kids is my absolute favorite. They have great sales, and you've got many months to lurk on their site & wait for a price reduction. They also mark things down lower in their stores than online. And I've tracked down PBK stuff on ebay. Check out Baby Gap Home, too.

There's tons of lightly used baby gear on craigslist & ebay. Don't be afraid to explore all your options, and get crazy with a little paint to refresh a tired item.

Crib: I personally don't care for the convertible crib. I think it's a marketing scam. If you're only planning on one baby, then this is a great way to go. But if you're planning on having more than one child, you will likely be re-using the crib for #2+ while #1 moves to a toddler bed or twin bed. For me, it would be doubtful that I'd ever end up "converting" that crib into a twin sized bed. I can also say that with as much as we move around, our crib is going to need a paint job and more if we ever need to use it for #3. ALSO - pay the money for a good mattress. It's something your bundle will be sleeping on for two+ years, and for us, we're re-using the same mattress for multiple babes. Don't forget the mattress pad! And I don't mean a plastic sheet. Would you want to sleep on crunchy plastic? Me neither.


Changing table: I have little advice here. I have one, I like it. Mine has open storage underneath so we use baskets to hold baby clothes & diapers. We use white baskets & I made basket liners for Big J so we didn't have to use the pink gingham ones we already had. I prefer having a changing table, as I don't always want to sit on the floor to change a dirty diaper, nor do I want to put a stinky kid on my bed so he can roll off or pee on the sheets. I bought chamois changing pad covers, and LOVE them. PBK has expensive ones, but Kids r Us has a less expensive version that is just fine. Probably wouldn't be hard to make, either.


Rocking chair: I could take it or leave it. It just never got used that much - Neither of our kids were rockers. I ended up nursing on the sofa most of the time. Much more comfy.


Mobile: Never had one, but love the idea of hanging one over the changing table. I would totally make this ribbon mobile for a girly room:

Image borrowed from OhDeeDoh

Diaper Genie: Love it. I detest taking the trash out particularly when it's -20 outside. And believe me, you have no idea how stinky those diapers can be. Seriously, brace yourself.

Diapers: A personal preference item. I like Huggies, and they are the same price per piece as the Kirkland brand. I've used both & they both get a thumbs up.

Wipes: I used to be a Johnson & Johnson fanatic, but have switched to Kirkland. The wipes warmer? Although it seems a little excessive, I've decided I really like the idea. When it's the dead of winter who wants their bum swiped with an icy wipe??

Monitor: Never had one, never felt I needed it. Our apartments have always been blessed with paper thin walls, and our house was so small that we didn't feel it was necessary.

General Decor: You can do a lot with a little. Curtains are a cinch to make & can be prettied up with a little ribbon or a contrasting panel. I love painted wooden letters, and attached mine with 3M poster strips so that there will be no nail holes. Framed prints are a great way to add some color and sweetness. Etsy has so much amazing stuff to pick from, and frames are inexpensive. Even buying a children's story book & framing the illustrations is an inexpensive way to lively things up.OhDeeDoh is by far my favorite website for baby decor advice.

Other Gear

There's SO MUCH baby stuff out there. Marketing tells you that you need all of it, but it's so not true. And there's not a lot you need right away. I DO tend to buy better quality products when I can afford them, knowing these will last longer & hold up better than buying cheap & replacing every year. Here's what I think:

Car seat: Critical! We have two - an infant carrier & a convertible seat. The infant carrier is great for little ones - at least until you decide that you're tired of being lop sided from toting around an 18 pounder. I wouldn't spend a fortune on this. I love our convertible car seat. It's a Britax Marathon & it's BIG. So big in fact, that it doesn't work that well in cars with a smaller back seat. But I still love it, and think my kids have been very safe & secure it. I also chose a neutral pattern. These do not come cheap, but with a little searching & patience you can usually find a sale or last year's model. Two items of note: #1 -I personally would not feel comfortable buying a used car seat. I'm sure there are bargains to be had, but this is an item designed to ensure your child's safety every time you get into the car together. You just don't know if a seat has been recalled, if it's been in an accident, or possibly compromised in some other way. #2 - Did you know car seats have expiration dates? They do. Educate yourself, and beware of hand-me-down seats.

Stroller: I think a stroller is an investment. I've never used a travel system (car seat + stroller system; just not my style), but they seem like a good idea. I went with a MacLaren Techno XT stroller. Again, not inexpensive, but it still works fantastically well after 5 years. It's light, it folds quickly & easily, and is quite small. I've traveled with it, taken it on long walks & short jaunts, and it's a champ. I also now have a BOB jogging stroller, and love it. If you are really active, I unequivocally recommend it.

Bouncer/ Swing, and more: We have a bouncer & have loved it. Used it every day of the first 8 months after baby came home. Some days, it was the only way I was able to get a shower & keep baby safe & entertained for 10 minutes. We even used it to feed the babes when they first started on solids. I've heard good things about swings, but went with the bouncer due to cost and portability. We also have a Jump-up (bought used), and #2 LOVED it. Used to fall asleep in it after wearing himself out.

High chair: You definitely don't need this for the first 6 months. If I had to do it again, I'd buy an all plastic one from IKEA. Our Graco has a cloth pad that gets gummed up with food after one meal. And yet I don't want to take it off because the seat is really not designed to be used without it. If we had a different table, I'd probably just go with a chair that could be hooked onto the table like this. If money were no object, I'd get one of these.

Breast pump: A matter of personal preference. If you think you want to pump I’d probably recommend you rent one from the hospital. At-home breast pumps take some getting used to, and can be expensive to buy (a good one will be around $100+). Cheap pumps are HORRIBLE, and will make it a painful, disheartening experience. NEVER buy a breast pump secondhand. This is unsanitary & no doc would recommend it.

Diaper Bag: This is an important item! You'll use that diaper bag as your purse+ for the next couple of years, so choose carefully. This is an item where price doesn't necessarily denote quality, value, or style. Go for something you can wipe down (inside & out), and that you won’t cry over when a bottle of formula leaks inside it. I like a bag with a convertible strap, so I can carry it over my shoulder or across my body. Plain, patterned, vinyl, leather, cloth, bedazzled, or bejeweled - there's something for everyone.

Misc: Boppy - love it (look at TJ Maxx); Blankets - buy several & keep one in the car, in the house, in the diaper bag, etc; Bottles/ pacis - a matter of whatever your baby will take; cloth diapers - indispensable! I love them for wiping noses, as a burp cloth, etc.; soap -Target Baby wash or J & J Lavendar; diaper cream -Boudreaux's Butt Cream (one of the best things I took out of the South!).

Clothes

Oh, where to even begin? Baby clothes are so much fun to buy, but the sad truth is that you probably don't need as much as you think. Unless your kids are genetically stunted like mine, they'll probably outgrow their clothes before they have a chance to wear half of them. The one exception is socks. Babies can wiggle out of socks faster than you can say 'boo'.

For baby’s first few months, kimono shirts are much easier to change in & out of than onesies. That, plus soft pants (like American Apparel karate pants) and you have a cute little outfit. Lots of PJ's are good too. Some days that's all the babe wore - or we had to change them multiple times in a night.

Invest in your favorite stain remover. You'll need lots of it.

I also confess that I am a hoarder when it comes to baby clothes. I have no problem buying a season or two ahead (on sale, of course!) and putting it away for later. Not only is it a surprise when I open that bin of clothes, but I still get a little thrill when I see the winter coat I scored for $6.75.

Gap: Love Gap clothes. Great for basics like jeans, solid onesies, and socks. Quality is high, colors last, and sales are good. The sale rack is my favorite place to shop, and I take a peek every time I'm at the mall. Their onesies and t's are so soft, and I love their boy jeans and overalls lined in jersey.

Gymboree: I never used to be a fan, but they have a lot of cute stuff and refresh every month or so. And they mark down really low. This is another store that I cruise through every time I'm at the mall. You never know what you're going to find in those sale racks. Order online once or twice & you'll get coupons in the mail - usually an extra 20 or 30% off. A couple of $3.99 items plus an extra discount means a smokin' deal. I do usually hang dry all Gymboree items. Their dark colors fade more quickly than I'd like. I can live with that when I know the whole outfit cost me $7.00.

Target, Wal-Mart, Children's Place, Old Navy: All great places for baby stuff, both full price & on sale. Quality varies.

Sorry for the long & rambling post. I hope all this helps someone.

Addendum: Hilery - thanks for the reminder. I did not address carriers or pack-n-plays. So here goes.

Carriers: I do love the Baby Bjorn. I bought mine on ebay, washed it up & it was really handy for the first year. I also bought a sling, but think I ended up with the wrong size. I've used the sling probably 4 times, and it's not super comfortable for either of us. A big disappointment, as I had really high hopes for it.

Pack-n-Play: I do have a Pack-n-Play, but use it infrequently - maybe 2 times a year. These are handy if you travel, but I wouldn't invest a lot of money in this item. Some people use them as cribs, and that's great. In that case, I'd spend more to get one that was a little more plush. I also wouldn't buy a "travel" size - your babe will outgrow it in just a few months.