A little therapy, please

I didn't intend to post twice in one day, but after seeing some new pics of Brit-Brit on my favorite gossip site, I can't resist any longer.

Britney, it's time to grow up. I don't give two hoots if you didn't have a childhood, or if you were manipulated by Mommy Dearest or manager, or whatever the excuse of the week is. Knock it off, and Mom-up.

You're always welcome at my house for a while. Bring the kiddos, and we'll have ourselves some good ol- fashioned group therapy. I'm not Mom of the year, but I'll show you the importance of the car seat, why Starbucks is not part of the food pyramid, and how to maintain a little dignity while dressing yourself. Oh yeah, and the cigs - come on Brit, you're not doing yourself any favors. Louisiana girls do not age well, and those smokes (and your penchant for the tanning bed) are going to make your skin weep wrinkles by the time you hit 30. Know why Cindy, Elle and Michelle Pfeiffer look half their age? FROM NOT DOING ANY OF THINGS YOU FEEL ENTITLED TO DO ON A DAILY BASIS.

You were only marginally talented to begin with, and now that you've pissed away your first 2 marriages and many millions of dollars, I'm here to tell you it ain't going to last forever. Could you make a comeback? You betcha. America loves to tear people down, but we also L-O-V-E to see a success story. So take a page from Christina's book, and get serious about your singing. Re-hire your manager, get yourself a staff Psychiatrist and build a 5 year plan for yourself (one that doesn't include booze, smokes, Frappachinos, sex with backup dancers, or homes without fences around the pool - seriously Brit, a pack of wild dogs would do a better job raising your sons than you have). Hit the treadmill, take some singing lessons, and turn your manic-depressive episodes into some new material.

And one last thing Brit - dump those moochers who call themselves your friends, and call your Mom. She's the only one you've got. If you don't have your family, you don't have anything. Spend a little time with your kids, and tell me I'm wrong.

Des Moines Ho

Much has happened in the last few weeks. I went to the DSM to look for a place to live, and was successful. I'm back in the office for a few weeks, and trying to prep for my 10 day trip in August. I've been to the doctors a few more times - and finally feel a tiny bit vindicated by the fact that they found my thyroid is going a little nuts. (I kept trying to tell them I wasn't "depressed"). I'm on thyroid meds and am actually feeling better already - more energy, sleeping more soundly.

The house closes on August 3rd, so we are frantically trying to clean up, throw out and pack away. The truck gets picked up next Saturday, so we have 7 days to get it all done. Do-able, right? M will take off a week from Monday, and I leave on Aug. 1 for my trip. Back on the 10th, then off to the DSM for good.

I'm excited about the move, but a little freaked about money. I'll work full-time through the end of August, then downshift to PT. We're trying to finalize health insurance, as that's critical right now. Cutting my salary in half also scares me. I think it's do-able, but I'm not one to have a lot of restraint when it comes to things I want (from food to shopping), and living within a strict budget is not something I am going to acquiesce to without a little kicking and screaming.

Some observations on Des Moines:
1. What's with the shared-wall (aka zero lot line) houses? I saw some nice, new developments that had shared walls, and I don't get it. Why wouldn't you want a stand alone house? Is the insulation better? Utility bills lower? I can't see myself paying $300K+ for a house that potentially allows me to hear ever word & footfall from my neighbors. Pass.

2. Fashion is about a year behind. Although Oregon isn't a fashion mecca, there's a lot of hipness to be found here. There - not so much. It was a bit like going back to Louisiana - lots of Abercrombie, American Eagle, blonde hair, and Skechers. I did see 2 trying-too-hard Urban Cougars. One could have been a grandma, but was rockin' a belly shirt and pierced navel. The other was wearing a full surf get up - boardshorts & Roxy t - in IOWA. Someone, please save them from themselves.

It's feeling Hot Hot Hot

It's supposed to be 100 today, which is HOT for the Willamette Valley. We don't have A/C, so I'm sort of looking forward to the air conditioned comfort of work. And I'm also dreading driving home to my toasty little house, where it will be hot like sauna when I get home. A brick house is nice, but it no one tells you how it holds the heat in like an electric blanket.

Wish me luck in keeping cool.

I am Selfish

When you become a parent, everyone tells you how much you have to sacrifice. How hard it is. How you'll never sleep again. Well, folks, it's all true. These are sacrifices you'll be happy to make - for a while. I don't really mind losing my freedom. I don't really mind the whining, the poking, the kicking, the silly songs, inane word repetitions, Princess fixation, temper tantrums, food obsessions, or the unnatural fixation on inanimate objects required to be in hand before Nappytime.

What do I really miss the most besides my boobs, my waistline, and the ability to carry on a coherent conversation not related to my child's bodily functions? Sleep.

You think that once the kiddos are no longer infants, that you'll get your sleep back, but it's a lie. Your doctor tells you that at 6 weeks, your sweet babe should start sleeping through the night (translation: they'll go down for 6 hours at night, but still get you up between 3-4 am). Believe me, the night Peaches slept for 6 hours I woke up feeling like a new woman. But that was 3 years ago, and I've since lost that refreshed feeling.

Now she sleeps pretty well, but at least 3 times a week she gets up in the middle of the night for something. Maybe she has to go potty, but insists on flinging herself through the door onto the bed to announce that fact. Sometimes she gets scared, and wants to crawl into bed (although we did the Family Bed thing for a while, we now discourage this, as she has the foot action of an all-star soccer player). And sometimes she can't sleep and insists that she will only go back to bed if we locate her doggie/ baby/ blankie/ water/ sticker/ book.

I love my child, but I miss my sleep. My sweet husband can sleep nearly anywhere, anytime. I think that's how he's gotten through the last 3 1/2 years (that and the fact that my side of the bed is closest to the bedroom door). Let this be a warning to all you parents to be: learn to nap.

House

Sold it last night. I am grateful that it only took us a few days to find an interested buyer, but feel a little foolish for investing in the For Sale By Owner program. The buyer found us on Craigslist (I love you, craigslist!), so I didn't even have to do the MLS paperwork or put out signs or anything. I figure that what I spent on the program was worth it for the peace of mind of getting a buyer ASAP. Money well spent. And thank you to the Fates or Lady Luck or whomever it was that pulled it all together. As my husband said -if we hadn't spent the money on the FSBO thing, we never would have found a buyer so quickly.

Now if I can just keep my job for another few months, we should be in good shape. I feel like I have short-timer's syndrome, except it's imperative that I keep that job for at least another 3 months or so. Just when I think things are settling a bit at work, they ask me to cut $750K from my budget. After hearing that, I feel a little justified in getting frustrated and wishing a rogue tsunami would wash away the tiny island where our Global HQ is located. I don't wish ill towards everyone there - just a few in particular. So, if you could arrange a disaster for just a select number of people (names to be provided at a later date), I'd be grateful. Thank you.

Update, part deux

I have been remiss in blogging, but it's been a busy week. It took us days to recover from the jet lag of vacation (stupid red eye flight) and now I'm back at work. Not that work is overwhelmingly busy, but it's a grind right now.

To continue the update....

Kauai: Awesome. Very relaxing, but not restful. You see, no one told us about the chickens. Huh? Did you say chickens? YES - CHICKENS. Thousands of feral chickens roam freely all over the island. And being the creatures that they are, they do as chickens do - CROW AT 5AM TO GREET THE DAY. So, while we had a lovely time sightseeing and exploring new beaches and being lazy slugs, we were also up with the sun every day. 2 FYI's - there are 3 great family beaches, all on the South side where we were staying. I recommend Salt Pond Beach, Poipu and Lydgate. Salt Pond was my favorite, as it was quiet and not very crowded. Also, it's expensive. We were fortunate to have a full kitchen in our condo... but a gallon of milk was still $9.00 and we spent almost as much on food as we did on our rental car for the week. Crazy.

Hooray for $54K of debt! It's actually a matter for celebration, as it means that we've committed to DMU, and to a career. It's a big step for us - a big, debt-filled, equivalent to a second mortgage step. Oh well, it's only money right? Now if I can just keep from getting fired in the next 6 months.....

It's been an eventful 10 days

In summary:



- Family visit

- Graduation

- A new TV (yeah, it's HUGE)

- A week in Kauai

- Added $54K of debt



Where do I begin? I'm gonna have to break each one of these down. I'll start here, but stay tuned for more.

1. Family visit. Dad and wife came for graduation. They stayed 2 1/2 days & it was the perfect amount. We visited, toured a local vineyard, did a little shopping, ate seafood, and visited more. It was great for Peaches to see them & spend time with them. We now owe them a visit to Nevada.

2. Graduation. Done and done. The day was a scorcher & the stadium didn't have a full overhang, so we roasted for 5 hours. Yes, 5 HOURS. As bad as it was for us, I can't imagine how sweaty it was on the field, under those black robes. I didn't think I'd be as stoked as I was, but it felt like just as much of an accomplishment for me as it was for him. It was also pretty cool that all 3 boys graduated at the same time. It was a Moment.

3. New TV. We spent the graduation money on a new TV. Not our most practical move, but it is pretty awesome. 37 inches of LCD glory. I can't wait to move & talk myself into getting full cable again (I cut our cable out when the bill grew to over $100 a month - I'm such a fool). I HEART TV. Seriously, I know it's evil, and a time sucker, and a brain musher, but I seriously love TV. History Channel, Food Network, HGTV, NBC, E!, I love it all. This whole 12-channels-only thing is crampin' my style.