Dear Husband,

You asked me what I want for Mother's Day.

That's a loaded question, and I think you know it.

Talk about pressure!

Do I give you the "Modest Mom" answer, and say "Oh, I don't really need anything for Mother's Day"?

Do I give the "Good Mom" answer, and tell you "Whatever the kids have made me is all I need for Mother's Day"?

Then there's the "Pie-in-the-Sky Mom" answer: "A day at the spa would be nice".

And of course, there's the Frankie Heck answer: “Mother’s Day is for them. The day after Mother’s Day is for me. It’s kinda like Father’s Day for mothers.”

Sweetie, here's what I really want for Mother's Day:

• To Sleep In. Yes, I may wake up at 6:30, but that doesn't mean I want to GET up. I would love, love, love it if you would get up when the Precious Angels start to stir (not 30 minutes after the yelling begins), and get them situated with snacks, TV, and whatever else is required to keep the bloodshed at bay. PS - Double bonus points if you stay out there with them so they don't feel it's necessary to "check" on me every 3 minutes.
• To Not Have to Cook. I don't expect breakfast in bed. I'm not asking for homemade cinnamon rolls, or hand-squeezed OJ, or a donut Mom with bacon arms. And I definitely don't want to go anywhere and wait in line for 45 minutes so the kids can meltdown over mediocre waffles and mushy hashbrowns. But if you feel so inclined, I would totally be into a Skinny Caramel Latte and a croissant (Or a blueberry muffin. Or coffee cake. Whatever's easiest.). Lunch & dinner? Takeout Thai is fine, but so is spaghetti with butter & cheese. As long as I'm not cooking it, we're golden.
• And on that note: To Not Have to Clean the Dishes. This is my most reviled chore. I would prefer to fold a Mt. Everest of laundry over doing the dishes by hand. If I could, I would ask for a dishwasher for Mother's Day. That's not feasible so I'm asking to not have to do the dishes. This doesn't mean that we all leave them in the sink to be done by me on Monday morning - this means that everyone pitches in & gets it done on Sunday.
• To Have Some Time to Myself. To shower without 2 year old eyes peeping at me. To watch Dexter without fear of a sleepless 6 year old inadvertently witnessing the stuff of true nightmares. To read a few pages of Glamour War & Peace without having to find the Scotch tape, change a diaper, break up a fight, locate Buzz, start the movie, pick up the crayons, pour the juice, dole out the snack, or institute a time-out. I don't want to be alone all day, but 90 minutes of peace? SHEER BLISS.

That's what I want for Mother's Day. And if you'd like to throw in a gift certificate to my preferred salon/spa, that would be pretty dang cool, too.

XOXOXOXO