A Fine Line Between Dishonesty and Cheapness

I took Big Sis to the movies yesterday.  It was an impromptu, last minute, we-only-have-20-minutes-to-race-across-town-&-make-it-there-in-time-decision.  But we made it.

In the car, she asked if she could get a Kid's Pak (popcorn, gummies, and a drink for $5).  I asked if she had her own money, and she said she didn't bring any.  My reply: "Then we're going to do it my way."

We rolled into the Meijer gas station parking lot and ran through the doors.  3 minutes later, we were back in the car with drinks & snacks for both of us.  Total cost: $4.97.

I explained that we would put them in my purse to take them inside.

And then I realized what I was telling her.

How to explain the concept of sneaking food into the movie theatre?  It's not ILLEGAL, but it's not HONEST, either.  There is a rule of "No Outside Food or Drink".  But it's not a LAW.  You can't go to jail for smuggling Twizzlers in your purse, but have you EVER seen anyone kicked out for bringing their own water?

Also, how to explain without making it sound like we were sticking it to "The Man"?  Because yes, part of why I chose to do it was so that the cost of our snacks did not equal the cost of our movie tickets.

{sigh}

I am morally just fine with sneaking a snack, but had a really hard time explaining to my 7 year old why I thought it was OK.  In the end, we had a rather long discussion about rules, consequences, choices, and treats.  I think I did OK, and hopefully I didn't warp her delicate moral sensibilities.  Too much.  No one ever said parenting was easy.

And Judy Moody was actually pretty cute.  Very light, no heavy message - just a lot of fun for the 11 and under set.

Pro-V

I realize vaccinations are another controversial subject to navigate amongst the jungles of parenthood, so it's not something I discuss often. We've always been pro-immunizations in our home (even prior to med school). I think Dooce nailed my personal stance on vaccinations.

http://www.dooce.com/2009/04/07/word-or-two-about-vaccinations#comment-354515

This is my favorite paragraph:

"That our children do not have to fear death from diseases like measles or polio or whooping cough is a miracle made possible by modern technology and science. And I guess the crux of this really complex problem for me is that as the number of parents who choose not to vaccinate their children increases so does the likelihood that these diseases will become a problem again. If you've decided that the risks are too great to vaccinate your child then you are counting on the rest of us who are willing to take those risks to decrease the chances that your child will be exposed to these diseases. You are counting on us. Maybe what I don't understand (in reference to my statement in the video) is the act of and willingness to give up that control. The choice to refuse vaccinations just seems to me to be a first world luxury."

Thank you, Heather B. Armstrong.

I realize that there are many who have joined the "Autism is caused by vaccinations" camp. And while I can certainly understand the need to vilify something in response to the very bewildering and saddening disease of Autism, the bottom line is that the science doesn't support the theory.

Just my two cents on this sunny Wednesday afternoon.

Things I Have Discovered Since Becoming a Parent

1. Everything should have a drive-thru. OK, maybe not everything, but I think the world would be a more manageable place if there were more drive-thru coffee stands, dry cleaners, and video stores. Two areas I find to be sorely lacking are post offices and grocery stores. Wouldn't a drive-thru post office be awesome? I fantasize about this every time I need to buy stamps or drop off a large package. It's a real pain in the rear to have to tote my kid inside just to walk up to the counter and hand over my package. It takes longer to get him out of the car than it does to complete my errand. A drive-thru market would be so awesome too. It wouldn't have to sell everything, just the basics. Bread, milk, eggs, cheese, lettuce, bananas, apples, orange juice, mints, gum, soda, ice cream. That's about it. I'll bet this would be monstrously popular. Seriously, if Arizona can have drive-thru liquor and ammo shops (no joke, and yes, they sell both items at the same place), and Louisiana can have drive-thru daiquiri stands.... I don't think a drive-thru market is asking too much.

2. Your kids don't care what the label on their shirt says. I love to shop, and now that I have kids, 98.2% of all my shopping relates to them. Much of what I buy is unrelated to brand, but more focused on a precise mix of price divided by cuteness. Believe me, I love it when I can find something at Baby Gap or Gymboree at what I consider to be a 'good' price ($10 or less, depends on what it is). But that's really for me. Big Sis could care less where her clothes come from. As long as there is pink involved, we're all good. It scares me to recall the junior high and high school days of yore when it was critical to wear Guess? jeans with the zipper at the ankle, or have the latest Esprit outfit. I sweat a little when I think about the level of 'I Want' that is going to invade our house in the next 10 years. Being rather shallow myself, I can totally relate to the impulse of NEEDING the latest phone/ handbag/ sneakers/ jeans in order to be cool. Hopefully Big Daddy will be able to temper some of that. He's never cared about what he wears, as long as it's comfortable. (Will I ever be able to break him of his affection for Wrangler jeans??)

3. Cartoons rock, even if they are 65 years old. When we were in Nevada last January, Grandma & Grandpa bought a DVD set of old cartoons for Big Sis. Not Scooby-Doo or Tom & Jerry, oh no, we're talking Betty Boop, Three Stooges, Popeye and Felix the Cat. And she LOVES them! Almost daily, she will ask to watch her Betty Boop. No, they are not PC (they are racist, sexist, and a bunch of other 'ists' that are too big for my vocabulary), but they are also rather simple and innocent. Better than a lot of the violent or disrespectful shows on Disney (she's not allowed to watch The Suite Life - those boys are very sassy!).

4. Sometimes Mama needs a time-out. Big Sis is at the stage where she asks 5,000 questions a day. Sometimes that needs to be doubled to encompass the number of sentences beginning with 'How come...' which issue from her mouth. Usually I can muddle through them, but she also manages to stump me many times a day. I don't want to lie to her, but I often catch myself thinking "Oh man, how do I explain to her why cheese is orange?" We've begun implementing 5 Minutes of Zip It. This is much more for me than for her, as it allows me to relax and think through her line of questioning. After the 5 minutes, I can usually keep going with questions, but I also give her a warning on when the last question will occur - which coincides with 5 Minutes of Zip It, Round II.

5. Sometimes the parenting books are right, but often it's just hot air. There's a lot of advice out there, especially for parents. Books about sleeping, eating, discipline, raising boys, raising girls, money, childcare, vaccines, intelligence, .... etc. First of all, I wish that someone would write a synopsis of each book by category, giving just the topline "solutions" that each has to offer. I mean, if you're in the middle of any of the above, you probably don't have more than 15 free minutes to 'read' (skim) through one of these lengthy tomes. Next, there's nothing wrong with trying advice, but if it fails, it's not your -or your child's- fault. Not every kid falls into the boxes these 'experts' create. It may be rough going right now, but you don't often see teens who suck their thumbs, or 12 year-olds who sleep with their parents, or even 8 year-olds who still wear diapers. Don't be so hard on yourself - things eventually figure themselves out. Even if your boy is still sleeping with you so that the entire household can catch more than 15 minutes of zzz's at a time.

I want.....

Long time, no blog. I had a trip for a few days, came home exhausted (the red eye sucks, and being prego makes it worse), worked way too much, then the in-laws came to visit for a few days. A bit overwhelming. Now I'm here to blog on a few random topics.

1. I love Gene Simmons Family Jewels. I understand he's a celebrity, and has an enormous ego. But I find him and his family endearing. He and Shannon seem like good parents, their kids seem to be pretty stable for growing up with Gene Simmons as a Dad, and he's over the top enough to be entertaining.

2. I have a serious case of the I-wants. I have some birthday money to spend, and there's a bunch of stuff I want. Should I be smart and hold on to it and use it for more practical, useful stuff like a jogging stroller or a Kitchen Aid mixer (not really practical, but something I've wanted for a long time), or do I hoard it and blow it all on something unnecessary and completely selfish like a Louis Vuitton wallet? Last year I used my birthday money to get a gym membership. I classify that as a practical use. Of benefit only to me, but still practical and not really "fun". I REALLY want the LV wallet, but it's just enough money where I think I'll carry tremendous guilt about buying it. I could buy the stroller AND the mixer for the same amount of money. What to do, what to do?

3. We were on our way to an event yesterday morning, and parking in a parking garage. We all got out of the car, and were gathering our stuff to walk out. I was holding Peaches' hand and waiting for everyone to wrap it up. A car pulls up next to us and a lady proceeds to tell us that we should keep an eye on our child, as she was "kicking her legs out in front of the cars". It took me a minute to process what she said, and in response, I was speechless. First, my child is only 3 and her legs are all of 18 inches long. She may have been kicking her legs out, but unless this woman was going 80 up the ramp or hugging the right and trying to take out a bystander, no one was in danger of being hurt. I was also speechless at the audacity of her stopping to chastise me/ us on controlling my child. She's not a rabid dog. She wasn't darting in and out of the parked cars. She didn't lay down in the middle of the Up ramp. So, What the Heck? Did I tell her she was ugly and had a bad hair cut? No. Some things you just keep to yourself - so the next time you see a kid being a kid, think twice about opening up your big yapper and keep your lips closed unless you want the wrath of Mama laid on your Iowa self.