The past few weeks have been challenging.
Here are my major updates (gripes), in no particular order:
I am still reeling from our Spring Break trip and my surprisingly intense resistance to move to Detroit. I am mentally digging in my heels, hands clenched at the doorway of our lovely Des Moines. It's taking a superhuman effort to even consider the logistics of planning and executing a 600 mile move. I am obsessing over where to live and complicating matters because we really want to find a house to rent, but of course want it 'all' - a reasonable price, decent size, storage space, quiet location, a decent school, and all wrapped up in perfect timing. I think I found a place that will meet 90% of our criteria, but am now fretting because I can't just hop in the car and drive 10 hours to check it out.
My biggest concern has been Big J. He had his one year check the Monday after Spring Break, and we discovered that he's a lightweight. In fact, he's only gained a pound in the last 6 months. Coupled with his lack of desire for mobility, his featherweight status gives us cause for concern. Now, let me head you off at the pass: He Eats Well. I will not go into a full accounting of his dietary habits, but I assure you, he has a decent appetite and we feed him as much as he wants to eat. He has continued to lengthen, and his noggin is holding a big brain, so no worries there. For those not well-versed in baby growth, the issue is that he's dropped significantly on the growth curve. When a baby goes from consistently being in the 50th percentile of the weight category to the 2nd percentile, questions and concerns start to form. Is he simply on the cusp of a growth spurt? Or is his body not functioning at an optimum level?
3 vials of blood, one spectacular bruise, and many lab tests later, we still have no inkling what - if anything - may be going on. We spent several days thinking it was Celiac disease (a gluten allergy), and am grateful that one was negative. We have an appointment next week with a pediatric gastroenterologist and while deep down I think we are going to end up realizing that he's just a little on the small side, as a parent I worry so much about what it might be. Having a husband in medical school doesn't help at all. While he tries not to succumb to Medical School Diagnosis Syndrome (my own name for it), he can't help but read about all the rare diseases or mysterious conditions that are out there. The chances of a rare and unfamiliar condition are 500,000 to one, but someone has to fill the role of "one".
So, I've been busy living with a worried mind and a concerned heart. Waiting impatiently for the next phone call or doctor's appointment has made me anxious, withdrawn, a little jittery, and quite grumpy. I've been eating my feelings instead of sweating them out, and I feel it in my jeans. Big Daddy's schedule has been hectic and inconsistent, and committing to a 5:30am wake-up for regular exercise (the only time I feel like I could possibly fit it into my schedule) feels overwhelming right now.