I've been debating on posting a sleep/ general-Big-J-update. He'll be 5 months old in a few days, so I'll do some gushing then, but for now....
We've regressed since I last posted about Big J's progress (or lack thereof). We spent several weeks crying, screaming, and struggling through cry it out, sleeping in the crib, and breaking off the pacifier. After much discussion, Big Daddy and I decided that we were not improving anything. J had become moody, quiet, a little withdrawn, and hardly ever smiled anymore. He'd give me a little grin in the morning, but was definitely becoming a different baby. I adore my happy, talkative, smiley boy, and it was breaking my heart to see him changing so much. And not for the better. So he's back to bed with us again. And he's sleeping for 3 hour chunks, and he's happy again. He also gets the pacifier, but only when I know he is tired. I struggle with my fear of seeing him with a plug in his mouth at age 4, but it's balanced by the magic of it all. When I know he's really tired, I can pop it in and he'll be asleep in 60 seconds. I temper my guilt over the Great Regression of 2008 with the confidence of knowing this is MY Family, and I feel that I know what works for us. We're not giving up, we're just delaying until he is more ready.
Much of this is also tied into nursing. I'm not ready to wean him, and I know that if I were, he'd be sleeping more soundly in his own crib (it just wouldn't be worth it for him to wake in the middle of the night). Selfish? Perhaps. But leche is the best food for him, and until he hits 6 months, we're sticking to it. We'll reevaluate in another month or so and see what changes have occurred. He very well may be my last baby, and I am in no great hurry for him to grow up even faster than he has in the last 5 months.
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